Bella in wonder land
by tigerfishy
Summary: Discontinued due to sudden lack if interest in twilight on my part
1. Chapter 1

_Good to be writing again. Though as I'm writing it occurs to me I won't be able to get it up for around two months 'cause I'm at my lake…. Heh. I was originally going to do this with Alice… but it was way too confusing, so you nice readers got to wait longer for this! Thanks for not me death threats to get another one up like SOMEONE (you know who you are) I think it's time for me to shut up now…_

_P.s if you can tell me two connections this chapter has to the movie/book (ex: quotes) you will get a special place in the fanfic! First two only... Sorry.._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing.. Except for … but you can have her if you want her._

_Now let us start_

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun  
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:  
Long time the manxome foe he sought -  
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,  
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,  
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,  
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,  
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through  
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
He left it dead, and with its head  
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?  
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!  
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'  
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"BELLA, BELLA!" Screeched my mom. Her name is René. "BELLA WHERE ARE YOU" relaxed, isn't she? I marched over. "THERE YOU ARE, BELLA I WAS SO WORRIED." We were in a large courtyard for a society party; I had been hiding in the garden, with a book. "Bella it's time" she wanted me to dance, specifically with mike, a man my mother was trying to set me up with. "Mom, I suck"' i whined "No you don't, now get out there."

I clutched loosely onto mike's shoulder my feet dragging, trying not to trip I looked up. In the corner of the makeshift dance floor was I picture of a wolf. It reminded me of something my father-Charlie- had once said, about werewolves. I wondered what the physical consequences would be to turning into a wolf, maybe it would mess up one's growth or- "Bella? What's wrong? You seem… off today" Mike interrupted my thoughts

"O h! I was just thinking about the side effects of turning into a wolf" oops. That didn't come out right.

"Turning into a wolf? That's but of course that's impossible."

"Well, my father once said he sometimes believed 10 impossible things before breakfast"

"Your father, was a very strange man"

Isn't. Mike, Great.

As I took a step back I bumped into someone, stumbled forward, and face planted into the garden. Um… ow!

Mike sighed as he helped me up. We continued dancing and I tried to distract myself from the embarrassment eating its way through me In waves. I wondered briefly if a semi going 40 mph downhill would have hit with the same force… probably not

"Bella? Are you o.k.?"Asked mike

"Fine, I was just wondering about people and cars…"

"Why waste your time thinking about such useless things?"

Ouch. I couldn't think of a comeback. I just stood there and did nothing… until Mike interrupted my thoughts yet again.

"Meet me in the gazebo in half an hour sharp, don't be late. I will be waiting. Come, Miss. Fluffykinz"

I had just noticed his fluffy black "kitten" my mother had gotten him for Christmas( he had gushed like a small child) my mother had picked her up at the shelter. She had inch long yellow claws with patches of fur torn out in random shapes. It was missing an eye; the existing one was leaking was also missing its front legs, forcing the poor thing to walk with a wheeler. It was also the meanest cat I had ever met…. Ah well..

_30 uneventful minutes and a spilled bowl of pudding later_

I sat under the gazebo waiting, and wondering.

Mike got their 20 minutes later I was half asleep by then. Slowly, I dragged myself to my feet, and faced mike.

He got down on one knee. Dread filled my stomach. No no no

"Isabella Marie swan." No. ..no.

"Will you do me the honor" .. The dread grew bigger in my stomach.

"Of"

No

"Becoming"

No

"My"

NO!

"Wife".

My head was spinning..i ..

"I i…I need a moment." I stammered. And dashed off

That's when I saw it. A rabbit in a waist coat.

_Please review, each review we receive goes to the group effort to prying Emmett's foot out of his mouth. Please, donate today _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_I'm actually writing this at my lake still, I just finished editing the last chapter (I really should have done that in my first fanfic… but time is a luxury I never had… heh, I always did it at the last minute)so um… congratulations contest winner #1 and 2 you get to play (drum roll)the red queens ladies In waiting! Though you won't be featured in this chapter… anyway, enough with the talking_

_"Isabella swan, will you do me the honor or becoming my wife?"_

_"I I I need a moment." And I dashed off_

_And there it was. A rabbit in a waistcoat_

It started to run away. I followed, stumbling and tripping over my dress. The rabbit went down a dark hole, now I know this sounds crazy, but I followed it. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't want to go back to mike, and it was a BUNNY IN CLOTHING. I rest my case.

I jumped into the hole head first, bidding goodbye to Miss. Fluffykinz, who had followed me. I fell for what seemed to be forever, passing the most curious things, Two plastic hands clutching and apple, a strange looking unfinished game of chess, a bracelet with a carving of a wolf, and a Diamond on it, a so forth.

After what seemed to be ages I landed (on my face) on the roof. Then face planting again into the floor. When I turned around a strange looking table appeared (at this point the author just burned the roof of her mouth with a cup of hot chocolate, as well as her tongue and is wondering when she will be able to taste again.)

The table had a key on it. As I looked around the room I saw I wide selection of doors. I groaned this as going to take me a while.

_1000 pieces of torn out hair and a squished bug later_

I was beginning to give up hope, I had tried all the doors and the key didn't fit any of them I was going to be stuck here forever. I glanced at the table, there was I little vile of something, with a note that said: drink me. Well, at least I had something to drink while I was trapped.

I took a swig (and gagged, I mean ,ick) and thought about what I was going to… WOAH! I was…. SHRINKING! When I was finished (and was buried in my own clothing) I saw a door! It was tiny; however, it was a door.

I hiked towards it pushing through the layers of my dress, turned the knob and… damn. It was locked. I should probably try the key… oh crap. I stared up at the gigantic table that has seemed so tiny a few moments ago. There, in plain sight, laid the key.

Just like me to leave my currently most valuable position somewhere that I can't reach. It was over, my life had depended on that key. Nothing left to do but sit down and.. OH! How strange, as I sat down a tiny box appeared. It had a tag on it that said EAT ME on it.

(Now you may think I'm a little strange, following rabbits down holes, eating strange things, tasting strawberry shampoo to see if it tastes as good as it smells… but I had good reason for all of those things. I just can't think of it now. Because the next thing that happened was extremely painful.)

I opened the little box and inside was… what the!#$%^& ravioli? Inside the box lay a single chunk of Mushroom ravioli. However, I was starving, and I didn't care about becoming even smaller, so, what's the worst that could happen? Turns out, it didn't make me smaller.

\

As I took a tiny bite, I began to grow, stretching upward into the ceiling. Unlike when I was shrinking, This hurt! I could feel my bones stretching like pulled toffee, the pain coming in waves each worse than the last. Finally it stopped. And I was huge!

I thought fast. I reached down for the vile liquid, remembering the keys this time, took another swig of nasty tasting water, and began to shrink once again. Once I was done becoming miniscule (an extremely long and boring process the second time) I stuck the key (that now seemed humongous) into the hole. " IT FITS! IT FITS!" I cried, overjoyed at the thought of getting out of this horrible room.

With one mighty shove the door was open, and I was free! I took a step into the door way, not caring where it led and tripped, and once again, face planted. I heard a low chuckle. "Hello?" I whimpered."Anybody? "

_I can read your mind thru the screen! You're thinking… "Emmett" Aren't I brilliant?_

_Please review, each review we receive for this chapter goes to buying Miss Fluffykinz a new walker. Have a hart, Donate today 3_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

_Hey y'all! Yup I'm still at my cabin, but thanks to those who reviewed!( I'm making assumptions hear, but I assume some of my would-you-rather fans will read this, and death threat girl)Please understand that I'm a comedy writer, So this will end up being comedy, even though it wasn't intended to because it"s time to BRING OUT EMMETT!_

_Does anyone else think it's strange that there is a drugged up caterpillar in a kids book?_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah (though it's probably a good thing you readers that I'm not in position of the Cullen men :) )_

_With one mighty shove the door was open, and I was free! I took a step into the door way, not caring where it led and tripped, and once again, face planted. I heard a low chuckle. __"Hello?" I whimpered."Anybody?_"

"What were you doing in there; discussing national debt with the wall?" boomed the voice mockingly

I didn't know who this was but I was pretty sure I didn't like him .

"Shut up Emmett, is that how you convince someone to go on a suicide mission for you? No wonder that horse kicked you in the jaw" Said in a softer, more feminine voice

Good horse.

"Is she the right one?" said the woman

"Dunnno, she could be if she is" said a voice that sounded as if it belonged to someone who had drunk blood for breakfast.

"But she is NOT so she isn't" said a eerily similar but more masculine voice.

"But sh- I cut her off.

"Someone want to tell me what going on before a whack you on the head with a book?" I said

As I took another step into the dim light I could see who the voices belonged to. The rabbit I had been following, a mouse, and two people dressed in red cloaks, both disturbingly beautiful.

The mouse cleared her voice. " My name is Alice, beside me is Emmett" she gestured to the rabbit

"And I'm Jane and this is Alec" said the woman in the red cloak

"NO I'm Alec and this is Jane." Said the man who appeared to be Jane's brother

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted" continued Alice

"We have brought you hear- she was interrupted by Emmett

"WE? Were you the who spent TWO MONTHES out there tracking down Bella after Bella? No! you were sitting there singing LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GRAPES! I'm going to go cry in a corner now!" And he left.

I can believe I fell down a hole to follow him.

" oh don't mind him, he just… crazy." Squeaked Alice

" I got that, you haven't answered my question though." I shot back

"Well, there's a prophecy about you, you se- Jane interrupted

"we need to make sure she is the right one first"

"well she might be if she is, but she isn't so she's not" babbled Alec

"Enough! We shall take her to Aro!"

Aro? Great, another nut job who wouldn't tell me what was going on or where I was or if they had chocolate pudding hear. Just what I needed. Ugh. But I when with them, not like I had a choice, the door mouse had very sharp teeth, and I had been in pain long enough today thank you very much.

"so who is Aro anyway?" I asked with absolute certainty that I wasn't going to get an answer that made sense.

"Voulturi" grunted Alice

"He's wise" spoke Jane

"He's absolute" chirped Alec

"He's Aro!" they spoke together

Okay, that was creepy. I would never get used to that. At least I got a answer. So Aro was some kind of wise man eh? Well maybe he will answer my question.

As we arrived at our destination, I saw that I probably wasn't going to get my answers. As soon as I walked into the dark and smoggy clearing I could see that Aro was a caterpillar smoking opium. Just my luck.

"Hello, new Bella. I hope your trip was pleasant., and Alice,that's a lovely coat your wearing." Spoke a voice older then time.

Alice nodded quickly. I was pretty sure I was missing something, but I didn't what to pry, so I just waited for them to run dna tests or whatever they were planning to do. I just wanted to get this over with.

" Consulate the scroll, I'm busy." Croaked the caterpillar, returning to his opium.

"ah yes of course. The scroll' they said in unison

Alice walked over to a little nook in the mushroom, and took out a roll of paper. I hoped we weren't doing math, I was terrible at it..

But when Alice unrolled it I was to shocked to be skeptical."the scroll" breathed Alice

The scroll was like any ordinary scroll but the pictures were moving, and the paper seemed to go on forever. Amazing.

"This shows every day in underland history, and future." Spoke Alice

"See, theres us!" said Alec triumphantly, gesturing at a picture if a mouse, two THINGS and a human.

"Huh. But what's that behind yo-" I spun around to see (quite possibly the strangest thing I had seen in underland) As I turned around I saw a flaming Emmett stiped down to his undies.

If he hadn't been screaming bloody murder, this may have been funny. But following Emmett were about 100 whatever with sharp pointy, spears. And I wasn't taking my chances that this was all dream.

I ran. This was probably a good thing because the others seemed to agree with me.

I ran as fast as could, and it looked like we might be winning, that is until a head a shriek so blood curdling I could move. It felt like cold snakes were slithering down my neck. I shuddered. I looked to Alice. She was frozen."Oh no, were doomed. It's Paul"

_Please review, each review we receive goes to maintaining Alice's wardrobe._


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